Baby, let’s talk about sex

“I’ve spent a lot of time on sensuality - enough to untangle it and earn several advanced qualifications in the subject! And my message is this: Sensuality is not the same as sex.”

- Henika Patel, Sensual

Hear me out…

Sex can be beautiful, passionate, and physically intoxicating. Assuming you’re having sex with a consensual, seductive partner.

Sex can also be painful, traumatizing, and nerve racking. Especially if you’re not having consensual sex or if you’ve been previously abused.

So that makes sex a lot to unpack.

That’s not to say that sensuality isn’t a lot to unpack, but the reason I bring this up is because sex is much more practiced, structured, and incentivized in our culture, at least in the United States. In my opinion, I feel like it’s important to unpack sex before unpacking sensuality,

If I were required to define sex in 5 words I would say something along the lines of:

• Orgasm

• Penetration

• Oral

• Foreplay

• Masturbation

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, “sexuality” is defined as “the quality or state of being sexual, such as sexual reproduction or sexual activity.” I don’t love when the definition of the word also includes the word that the definition is trying to define, but whatever. Regardless, I think it’s fairly reasonable to make the claim that our understanding of sex and sexuality primarily revolves around the physical body and our evolutionary sexual functioning.

Now, this isn’t a comprehensive breakdown of sexuality. It’s not what my educational background is in so I don’t have any fancy pieces of paper to inform you that I’m an expert. I’m just a girl who enjoys philosophy and the topic of reproduction.

Sensuality on the other hand, is not necessarily defined by the physical body alone. It’s definition is “relating to or consisting in the gratification of the senses or the indulgence of appetite.”

I think at this point it is best to start focusing on the word “senses” and what that means culturally in the United States versus other countries, cultures, and tribes.